


I Kveld Med Mino

by Renebu



Series: I Kveld Med Mino [1]
Category: Raske Menn, Ylvis
Genre: Brotherly feels, F/M, Fluff, Hijinks, work environment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-11
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-01-24 09:19:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 14,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1599671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renebu/pseuds/Renebu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A talented artist and performer gets an intership with Concorde TV that turns into a much bigger role. How did this fangirl from art school get caught up in getting married off to  Bjarte Ylvisåker as a UNICEF fundraiser?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Next Sidekick?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [minolyn](https://archiveofourown.org/users/minolyn/gifts).



> This began as a prompted anon story for a tumblr friend, and became a multi-part saga. Part of the challenge was to keep it all fluff and no smut (there are definitely feels, though!). Hope you enjoy!

You are putting the finishing touches on the opening vignettes for Season 4 of I Kveld med Ylvis. You started with Concorde TV as an intern in your last semester of design school and when you graduated they gave you a full time job. Working with the show gives you such variety in your work. One day you’re designing printed materials for the promotions department, the next you’re updating a web site, and the next you’re creating sets for music videos.

The best thing about your job has been working in a totally creative environment. The business part of Concorde is on the first floor of the building, and the creative team is spread throughout the second floor. You work alongside a few other graphic artists and set designers, but you’re also with the costumers, videographers, editors, and most exciting to you, the writers. 

Although you’re a trained graphic designer, you have a host of other talents and here you may have the chance to let them all shine. You got a chance to work with and get more acquainted with the Ylvisåker brothers when they were putting together the Expensive Jackets Tour. It was your idea to model Vegard’s jackets off of Freddie Mercury’s, and you’d shared the Careless Whisper/Fox mashup with them, inspiring the number with Magnus and Calle.

Beloved sidekick Calle is out for Season 4 to go on tour with Raske Menn. Because the ratings suffered in Season 2, the last time Calle was absent, the producers are scheming to make sure fans stay interested in the show. They’ve decided to promote Magnus DeVold to take Calle’s spot in the pre-interview slots. But as you work on your graphics project, you hear some heated discussion about other tactics.

“He doesn’t have enough experience yet, Christian!” shouts Vegard, slamming his hand on the table. “We can’t set him up for failure!” The chief editor of the show calmly responds, “I know you’re concerned, Vegard, but you forget he’s hosted a tv show before, and he held his own during his concert number…” “That show was 11 years ago, and it was NOTHING like what we do here. And that was ONE song at the concert, and we rehearsed for weeks. You know this show requires you to be tip top with no advance notice.”  
Bård chimes in, “maybe if we advance tape some bits with him and Magnus, or with you, Vegard.” Christian replies, “I don’t know about that, Bård. Magnus is busy with the new show he’s hosting for our time slot when we don’t air, and Vegard’s time is cut back due to his extra responsibilities at home this season.” The editor thinks for a moment. “Maybe if we find a different sidekick for him, though.” Suddenly there’s a whisper in your ear, "I think they're talking about me, Mino."

You smile and spin your chair around, greeted with a kiss on the cheek from the youngest Ylvisåker brother, Bjarte. You helped him with his video for the concert footage, and ever since he’s latched onto you like a puppy with a favorite squeaky toy. You feel like an older sister to him, although you suspect his feelings for you might run deeper. “So you think they want you to be the new sidekick?” you raise a skeptical eyebrow. “Don’t you still have some helicopter pilot school to get through?”

Bjarte replies, “I’m taking six months off for now, to see what happens here. I can get training hours in to keep up with what I’ve already learned.” He leans in, putting his arm around you, still speaking in hushed tones, “so what have they been saying, Mino?” You notice the trio has now shut the door to continue their conversation, and it seems they did this when Bjarte walked in. You don’t think it is your place to share. 

Standing up and moving away slightly to reclaim your personal space, you reply, “I wasn’t really paying attention, but it seems like they are discussing adding another sidekick.” Bjarte’s face beams, “I knew it! Vegard was talking with Mamma about it last weekend. He is afraid I’m gonna bomb and it will be his fault. But Bård wants me to do it so it’s gonna happen!” You walk to the kitchen to get a drink and he follows you. You ask him, “you’re not scared to be on the show?”

“No, I’m not scared! Being on a tv show is way easier than singing to a packed house at Spektrum!” Now he’s raised his voice so anyone within earshot will hear his details. “I’ve been trying to prove how funny I am with all the stuff I put on Twitter and Vine. They have to pick me!” Now you’re concerned because there are so many ways this could go wrong. Some co-workers begin peeking in to the kitchen to see what’s up, and you give the shush sign to Bjarte.

Just then Christian walks into the kitchen, “There you are, Bjarte and Mino. Can you both come over to the conference room? We need to discuss something with you.” You feel a wave of anxiety pass through. You feel like you’re being called into the principal’s office and hope you won’t get blamed for Bjarte’s outburst in the kitchen. You’ve just recently been included in more of the high profile projects, and you don’t want to jeopardize your position.

You walk in and breathe a sigh of relief because everyone around the room is smiling. The brothers especially don’t hide their feelings around the office and angry shouting isn’t uncommon during creative meetings. Magnus has joined the group as well. Bjarte can’t contain his excitement as he struts in, giving bear hugs to each person in the room to greet them. 

Although you’ve been working there for a while, your inner fangirl still gets excited when you’re in the room with Vegard and Bård. They are remarkably talented and have actually studied music, the craft of comedy and stage shows, and they have so many years of experience with different forms of entertainment. And of course their looks are total perfection. Your friends can’t believe you work with them, and many days you can’t believe it, either.

Bård gets a serious look on his face and looks firmly on his younger brother. Christian breaks the ice, “Bjarte, we know you are interested in helping out on the show this season, and your concert number was really well-received. We may even release your song on i-tunes.” Vegard says, “we want you to come help on the show for this season.” Bjarte is about to speak when Bård chimes in, “we’ve decided you can be a camera assistant for Jens who operates Camera 1.

Vegard says, “Camera 1 is the most important camera on the show and you will learn how to operate the machines as you go this season. If we do a Season 5, we will probably be able to give you your own camera and a full-time position.” For the first time ever (in your recollection), Bjarte is speechless, and not in a good way.  
The whole room is silent and your heart is dropping for Bjarte, because you know he’s dying to follow in his brother’s footsteps. From the look on his face you can tell he’s trying to be tough but you think he might even cry. Then, all at once, Christian, Bård, Vegard, and Magnus put their index finger and thumb up to their foreheads in the shape of an “L” and point at Bjarte with their other hand, shouting “LOOOOSER!” then erupt with laughter. 

You’re still a bit confused but can’t help but laugh with them. Bjarte slowly realizes he’s been punked. “We totally fooled you, little brother!” shouts Bård. Christian adds, “We want you to play a ‘sidekick’ role on the show, Bjarte, but we think it will be better if you have a sidekick of your own, at least for a little while until you get your bearings. Mino, that’s why we asked you to meet with us.”

Vegard explains, “Mino, you have done such good work for us in so many different ways, and we think you and Bjarte have a good chemistry that will work well on camera. And since you were our most recent intern, we think it would be fun to have you help break in our newest trainee.” “We aren’t quite sure what it will look like yet,” Magnus says, “but it should be lots of fun to come up with fresh ideas for some sketches and videos that tap both your talents.” 

“So, Mino,” Christian asks, “what do you think?” You aren’t quite sure what to make of all of it, but it is clear you don’t have a choice in the matter. Not if Bjarte has anything to do with it. “She loves it!” Bjarte lifts you up in a big spinning hug. You laugh at him and look around the room at the hopeful faces of the show leaders. “It sounds like a great opportunity…how could I say no?”


	2. Who's Really In Charge?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Figuring out what it means to be a "sidekick's sidekick."

Your new job with Concorde TV came with a new set of challenges. Graphic design you know inside and out. You’re trained and can apply your skills to just about any creative project. But now, you’ve been tapped to be the “sidekick’s sidekick” as you help Bjarte Ylvisåker prove he has the chops to be in front of the camera on his brothers’ talk show. You’re beginning to realize why they chose you.

“Bjarte listens to you, Mino,” says Christian, meeting with you privately at a local coffeehouse. You nurse a hot tea as he lays out some expectations for your new role. “You know Bjarte has a stubborn streak and if he gets an idea he won’t leave it alone, but somehow you are able to temper that. Even when he was preparing for the concert, he listened to your suggestions when no one else could get through.”

Since the success of last season, it isn’t feasible for Bård and Vegard to get out as much in public. In spite of Janteloven, it is hard to play pranks on people when everyone can spot the setup a mile away. You set up a schedule for preparing ideas, drafting storyboards, and some days have already been selected for the crew to shoot segments, whatever you decide to do. Christian explains, “Magnus will be able to help you with the first few meetings, but after that, you’re in charge.”

“But I suppose I need to let Bjarte think he’s in charge?” you ask candidly. Christian smiles, “that could be aggravating for you, but it might not hurt. Oh, and before I forget, you’ll also meet with our management company on Monday. Now that you’ll be an on-camera personality, we need to update your contract and get you representation. We’ve learned some lessons this last year and need to be better prepared for dealing with the media.” Your mind is blown.

The next week is a whirlwind of meetings, paperwork, more meetings, and Bjarte at your side almost every waking minute. You’re having more fun than you expected, but you’re very worried about how it will all pan out when you actually film something. Bjarte made it known that you play guitar and sing, and the guys are pleasantly surprised at your untapped potential.

Your first segment is you and Bjarte as street performers in Oslo’s market section. You play the guitar, Bjarte (disguised in a poncho and giant hat) plays the pipe, and Bjarte makes rude comments to people if they don’t tip you enough. You also get inspired and begin to improvise songs making fun of people who walk by. Kind of a twist on Radio Taxi but you’re out in the open.

When you get the tape back to the editing room, you get a great reaction. Bård is usually pretty deadpan when working behind the scenes, but he gets genuine belly laughs watching the raw footage. “This is so funny!” Bård gives his baby brother some slaps on the back, “finally you can let your smartass rude side pay off!”   
Vegard is impressed as well, “Mino, people are going to think you’re related to us the way you jumped in with the improsongs!” You blush a bit. Although you’ve certainly settled into working with the brothers, you still have a huge crush on Vegard and can’t get over it when he acknowledges your talent. “Heeeey, do you think we could get away with that?” asks Bård. “Get away with what?” you ask.

“Nobody knows who you are yet, Mino. We could present you as the ‘long-lost Ylvisåker’ – Bjarte’s fraternal twin – we’ve kept you hidden all these years out of the spotlight but now here you are,“ explains Bård, “It wouldn’t be the first time we’ve hired actors to portray family members.” No one in the room reacts…there is dead silence. “La det på is?” you ask, and everyone laughs.


	3. Your IKMY Debut

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your first appearance on IKMY!

You were shaking in your shoes. Really, any stage-fright-related cliché could be inserted at this point and it would apply. You’d already been working at Concorde TV for about 6 months, but because of the schedule you hadn’t spent much time on the set of I Kveld Med Ylvis. The energy of a live audience was electric, but terrifying for you at the same time. Especially because you were making your debut tonight as one of the IKMY interns.

You weren’t really an “intern” (lærling) anymore, but that’s how you were being presented to the audience along with the youngest Ylvis brother Bjarte. You weren’t even “sidekicks” just yet…you had to prove yourselves with funny pre-taped bits and revestreker in the studio. Your first task was taking care of the VIP-setters, the audience members who paid extra for special treatment.

Tonight the VIP-setters wanted video games at their seats, so it was decided Bjarte would dress as Mario and you would dress as Luigi from Mario Brothers to deliver their goodies. The producers originally wanted you to dress as Princess Peach, but you convinced them Luigi was a better fit to your personality better and presented you more as equals. The three hosts couldn’t stop laughing backstage, so you were fairly sure it would be a hit with the audience.

Bård, Vegard and Magnus perform a rousing opening number, some small talk to get things started, and chat a bit with the VIP-setters to set up the situation. Bård says, “So, you want video games. Well, we thought it would be better to bring a live version of a video game to you. Who better to accomplish that then our new interns, Mario and Luigi?”  
You and Bjarte turn on the charm. Your outfits are perfectly ridiculous. You come running down each aisle through the audience as the band plays music from the Mario Cart game. The stage is set (thanks to your design) like the backdrop of a Mario game, and you retrieve snacks for the VIP-setters from the set like video game points, backed up with just the right sound effects. You bring the snacks to the VIP-setters and the older brothers are on the floor in convulsive laughter. 

It is too hectic for you to be embarrassed and you just go with it. Bjarte is perfect, really in his element being a giant goofball. His facial expressions are priceless. Bård barely recovers from his laughing fit to introduce you. “Tonight we have some new additions to our staff at I Kveld Med Ylvis. As you know, Magnus was promoted from intern/sidekick to program leader this year, so we needed some new interns. As it turns out, our mamma and poppa produced one for us 24 years ago.   
Vegard added, “and we know our baby brother can’t handle too much on his own, so we hired a second intern to really do the work for him.” Bård, “so it isn’t really Mario and Luigi, let us introduce you to Bjarte and Mino!” You join the group on the couch, panting a bit from your antics. The audience provides laughter and warm applause.

“So it seems we may have you in some kind of costumes every week,” comments Bård. Bjarte speaks up first, “well, we know you and Vegard got your start dressing like giant vegetables on TV, so we figured Mario and Luigi would be a step up.” “Although we do have the red and green theme,” you add, “but the pea pod and the tomato were pretty cute back then.” Magnus shows a clip from the early Ylvis days with the brothers looking decidedly more ridiculous, and the audience eats it up.

You are excused along with Magnus so the brothers can bring on the first guest. You and Bjarte get back in character to exit. Once you get backstage, Magnus gives you his signature bear hugs. “You were great! The bad news is it sets the bar and you have to be even better next time. Good luck with that!"


	4. A Wedding? What?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Bård unveil their plans for this year's miniseries and UNICEF stunt.

When you went to design school, you couldn’t have imagined your job would involve spending hours in a sound editing suite, trying just so to get dubs right for a lip sync video. You and Bjarte (your partner in crime as sidekicks on I Kveld med Ylvis) had been trolling tumblr and decided to help the fangirls prepare a lip sync for Vegard’s upcoming birthday. They still have no clue you’re amongst them, although they all joke about being Bård. 

“I should have just asked one of the real sound editors to do this, Bjarte. It would have been so much faster,” you sob in frustration. He's usually goofing around on the job, but for this project he's been all business. “Those assholes can’t keep a secret and this must be surprise. We’ll never get him to pay attention to it if he knows what it is.” Bjarte knows his brother better than anyone, so you get back to it.

You’re interrupted by a knock on the door from Christian, “Hey, you two. Don’t forget we have a have a creative meeting in 10 minutes. We need to flesh out the ideas for your mini-series.” You don’t say anything to Bjarte, but you are really excited about this next project. Since the big brothers are laying a bit low after all the international craziness in the last year, they decided you and Bjarte would make the mini-series this time. Would you two try to make it big somewhere exotic? 

“Mino, where did your mind go?” Bjarte shakes you out of your daydream. “We only have a few more minutes to finish this!” The other writers have been left to craft your series scenario, so you’re kind of nervous. You roll your eyes at Bjarte and put the finishing touches on the dub.

It is a bit frustrating being the only woman in the room when the writers get together. You’re proud of the contributions you’ve been able to make this season, and Vegard even commented on it a few weeks earlier (and your heart skipped a beat when he did). They don’t mean to be chauvinists, but comedy tends to be a man’s business, at least at Concorde TV. You’re glad Magnus had time to come to this meeting, because he tries to look out for you and do what’s best.

Christian brings the motley crew to order, not an easy task. The walls are lined with post-it notes of promising ideas, most of which will never make it to the screen. Bård actually joins you this time. Does he have an idea to pitch? His last one (about you being the long-lost Ylvisåker sister) didn’t go over very well. You and Bjarte have done very well so far to bring your own ideas to fruition. This project is bigger than anything you’ve done yet, though.

A few ideas are put forward…and put on ice…it is established that you aren’t going to try any of the old bits (no Hyss, Tid for Hobby, Long Stick, definitely no Bader!). Bård and Magnus come forward with an idea. You haven’t seen them commiserate on the creative side before. “We have an announcement,” says the middle brother. “Bjarte and Mino are going to get married on I Kveld med Ylvis!" 

You and Bjarte look incredulously at Bård and Magnus, while the rest of the room erupts in cheers. “There’s a show in America called “Say Yes to the Dress” about women making plans for their elaborate weddings,” says Magnus. Bård continues, “I just watched a marathon of it last week and it was hilarious. We are going to send you around to all the places you need to visit to plan a fancy wedding. The twist is, you’ll select the most hideous options wherever you go, no matter what you're advised."

Bjarte chimes in, “Can we get mamma and pappa in on the joke, Bård? Min mor can help you choose your dress, Mino! You’ll realize why we can keep a straight face when you meet her!” You didn’t like the idea at first, but the whole sarcastic premise is growing on you. “So will we play it off like we’re really doing it, or will the audience be in on the joke the whole time?” you ask. Bjarte says, “I think we should play it serious and even have the ceremony on the show.” 

Bjarte is getting a bit too excited about this and worry creeps into the back of your mind. You also already have a fiancé who might not like the idea of his betrothed getting married on a national television show. “How long will this go on? I mean, until the joke is revealed…” the guys stop their excited chatter, realizing you’re not taking this very well. “We need to cover five episodes, Mino, and we’ll show it on the Thursday program,” says Christian. 

“So five weeks…” you look at the production calendar on the wall, and realize the ruse will go for about two months since you’ll begin filming before segments go on the air. Bård gets back on topic, “Terje from the band was the last one to get married, and his ceremony was out of control. We should get some ideas from him of what to include.” Bjarte stands up behind your chair and wraps his arms around you, “Come on, min forlovede, this is going to be fun!” You aren’t so sure.

A few hours later you’re at your desk and Vegard stops by, “Hey, Mino, I heard about the mini-series. It should be pretty funny!” The worry on your face must be evident because even Vegard picks up on it, “What’s wrong?” You’ve gotten closer over the last few months and you feel like you can trust him, “I just feel like the show is creeping too close to real life, and I’m afraid Bjarte has feelings for me that might get too complicated in this scenario. And I’m really engaged to someone else.” 

Vegard’s jaw drops, “You are? Who is he? Does anyone here know that?” You are surprised at how shocked Vegard is, “he lives out of the country right now, but we’ve been together a long time. He’s supportive of my work and is really excited for the opportunities I have, but I’m not sure how he will feel about me pretending to marry someone else.” “Does Bjarte know you’re engaged?” asks Vegard. You have to think about it for a minute. As close as you've gotten you don't think you've mentioned it.

Vegard takes your hand to reassure you, “Hey, you see how private we are with our families. The tabloids don’t even bother with us more than a few times a year, we are so boring. We’ll make sure this doesn’t get out of hand. If anything, it will be fun to play around with the press, see how far we can push them so they’ll have to retract the shit they print. I can talk to your fiancé if you’d like. It is just a comedy bit, and you and Bjarte do make a good team.”

“I don’t know exactly how Bjarte feels about you, but I’ve not seen him get serious about anyone yet,” says Vegard. “You know Bård and I were kind of early bloomers in that department, but Bjarte seems to be the opposite.” “It would probably be a good idea to mention my fiancé though, huh?” you ask. Vegard nods his head and asks, “when is this guy visiting next? I think we need to make sure he gets the Ylvisåker seal of approval before you go too far!” 

You smile but think maybe it should be the other way around. Your man should check them out to make sure they are good enough for you! As Vegard walks away, it occurs to you he just held your hand and you were too preoccupied to notice that HE HELD YOUR HAND. You think to yourself you are a dork for worrying…you get to work in this place with hot Norwegian comedians, and they actually care about you!


	5. Telling Your Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mino talks to her fiance' and parents about her involvement with IKMY.

The past three weeks have been fun but exhausting. None of your “My Big Fat Ylvisåker Wedding” segments have aired yet, but you’re almost done filming. You and Bjarte have been making the rounds with a discreet camera crew, visiting different shops and auditioning performers and caterers to select the most outrageous choices for a full-blown wedding ceremony. You’re going to convince the I Kveld Med Ylvis audience that you’re going through with a wedding with the youngest Ylvisåker brother.

You’ve discussed the project with your real-life fiancé, and surprisingly he was ok with it, saying it would help you get the idea of an elaborate wedding out of your system before you two go for the real thing in a few years. He did suggest that your parents might be the ones to object, and you hadn’t even thought about that. You gave them each a call before filming began. 

Your father was most concerned about the media attention you might get, “Isn’t that show pretty popular in Norway? Don’t they have tabloids that will follow you around if they think you’re in a romance with this heartthrob brother?” You laugh, “I wouldn’t exactly call him a heartthrob, Dad, but he does have a growing fan base, especially with teenage girls. They may not like the idea of him getting married.” He tells you to be careful, but have fun.

For the conversation with your mother, you had to broach the subject of the show hiring an actress to play your mom in some of the segments. Would she be ok with that? “Well, I can’t exactly fly over there to film this with you. Just make sure you get someone who is nothing like me. I don’t want to be mocked.   
“You aren’t getting married in a synagogue or a church, are you? That would be wrong since it is all a lie,” your mom comments. You object, “it is just an entertainment skit, Mom, it isn’t a lie. And the ceremony will be in the studio during their UNICEF fundraiser.”

As filming was going on, you still hadn’t told Bjarte about your real-life fiancé. Things were going fine and the filming was lighthearted. You had tried some caterers (kebabs and pizza will be on the menu) and you filmed the segment (with some actresses playing your mom and bridesmaids) where you selected hideous dresses. You think maybe you were reading too much into Bjarte’s enthusiasm before and you’ve both been too busy to overthink things lately.

You head in to the office for the first time in a few days since you’ve been out on location. Christian has scheduled a meeting for you that morning so you head in early. Bjarte arrives at the same time. “Mino! Are we in this meeting together?” “It looks like it, do you know what it’s about?” you ask him. “You’re more likely to know than I am, so no!”  
When you go into Christian’s office, a very professional-looking blonde woman is also there. She can’t be more than a few years older than you, but already you don’t like her body language. She looks too smug for her own good. “Hei hei. Mino, Bjarte, this is Sonja,” Christian introduces you, “she’s going to help us with media relations now that your wedding segments are about to air.”

“Next week you’re filming at a jewelry store to select rings, right?” she asks. “I don’t think we’ll be able to keep that much of a secret, so we need to get ahead of things and not be surprised by the tabloids.” She hands you both a schedule for the next two weeks of events you will attend as a couple. The opening of the new Raske Menn show, a movie premiere, dinner at a hot new Oslo restaurant. “These are events your brothers have been invited to attend, but Bjarte, you’ll be going in their place and taking Mino as a ‘plus-one.’” 

You aren’t terribly comfortable with this and remember your father’s concerns, “So we are pretending to be a couple outside of our segments?” Bjarte jumps in, “don’t be worried, Mino, it will be fun! Plus it is lots of cool stuff you would die to go to otherwise.” Christian interjects, “but if we are going to make the premise work, you guys have to ACT like a couple when you are out. Don’t forget you are in love enough to get married.”


	6. Flying High

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise helicopter flight with Bjarte and Vegard!

“Mino, we’re gonna have to go shopping. I don’t know if any of these clothes are going to be right for the events you’ll attend,” Sonja says as she goes through your closet. You’re fuming, but you do your best to accept her style advice. Your first fake date with Bjarte is coming up and you won’t be able to hide from the public eye much longer. You are much more comfortable staying behind the scenes.

After having you try on a series of outfits, Sonja sets aside a simple black dress and red pumps, “I’ll pick up some jewelry to go with this for your restaurant date.” She’s basically trashed your wardrobe and made you feel like a style-less frump. She writes down your sizes, “I’ll also stop by Moods and see if I can find some other pieces for the Raske Menn show and the movie premiere.” 

You make sure you look her in the eye so she knows you’re serious, “can you please make sure whatever you select is comfortable? We’re doing live remotes in these clothes and I’m sure we’ll be running all over the place doing crazy stunts. I can’t try to do that in 3-inch heels and a short skirt. OK?” Sonja smiles, “I get it. I’m just trying to help.” She takes your hand, “I think you’re very brave, Mino. I don’t think I could do what you’re doing. Do you even like Bjarte?”

“Bjarte’s great. He’s funny, and all the brothers are polite and caring. But he’s NOT my boyfriend. I just fell into this situation and I hope I don’t regret it.” You aren’t sure you should trust Sonja, but she seems like she’s becoming an ally. Your doorbell rings and you look out the upstairs window to see who’s at the front door. “Speak of the devil! I wonder what he wants.” Sonja offers to get it while you change clothes.

“MINOOOOOOOOO…where are you?” Bjarte bounds up your stairs like an excited puppy. “You have to come with me…I get to fly a helicopter today and I want to take you and Vegard for a ride!” Sonja gathers her things and heads out the door, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Mino. Don’t worry, I’ll find you some cool outfits. You know you’ll look better than Bjarte no matter what!”

“Is she giving you the wardrobe treatment, too?” Bjarte scoffs. “I will wear what I want, when I want.” You cock an eyebrow and shoot him a look, “So, which hoodie and jeans are you wearing to take me to dinner tomorrow night?” He helps you put on your coat, “Nei nei, I know how to dress for the occasion, and you MIGHT still look better than me, but I’ll put up a fight. Let’s get over to the helipad!”

You haven’t seen Bjarte this excited since his brothers offered him a spot on I Kveld med Ylvis. He chatters non-stop during your drive to the helicopter. He has to continue to put in flight time to keep up his pilot’s license, and Vegard surprised him by arranging for a flight over Oslo, departing from the top of one of the buildings in town.

By the time you get to the roof, Vegard has already been there a while, nerding with the other helicopter pilot about the machine you’ll be flying in. You’re surprised at how windy it is atop the skyscraper and wonder if that’s unusual. “Hueee, Mino, Bjarte! Are you excited?” Vegard approaches you for a hug as Bjarte greets his co-pilot. You hug back, but you still aren’t over your fangirl tendencies when it comes to him, and you’re sure he can feel your heart fluttering out of your chest.

Vegard’s curly hair is beautifully uncontrollable in the wind, and now the helicopter blades are whirring, creating a more forceful breeze. He looks amazing in tight blue jeans and a black leather jacket, a gray scarf loosely draped around his neck. You’re mortified when he catches you staring, but he just laughs, holding his hand out to boost you into the waiting helicopter.

You and Vegard sit in the back of the helicopter, Vegard behind the co-pilot and you behind Bjarte. You’re handed a set of headphones so you can actually hear each other talk over the loud engine and blades. Bjarte goes through the pre-flight checklist with his co-pilot and you watch Vegard look proudly onto his little brother. With all the concerts and the show, there isn’t much time for them to spend quality time together. You feel like you shouldn’t even be here for this moment.

You shake Vegard’s knee to get his attention, pointing at Bjarte and mouthing “he’s so excited…THANK YOU.” Vegard beams a thousand-watt smile back at you. Suddenly you’ve lifted off and you’re thrilled and a bit terrified as the helicopter floats over the edge of the building. The wind causes the flying machine to wobble a lot, but Bjarte does a good job keeping things steady.

Soon you’re flying over a magnificent view of the city and the water. You feel almost even in the sky with the afternoon sun. Bjarte certainly has the hang of things and his co-pilot is just observing, occasionally asking questions and Bjarte knows all the answers. “What do you think, Mino?” You hear Vegard’s voice in your headphones. You reply into your mic, “It is a fantastic view! Bjarte, you’re doing a great job!”

“If the show doesn’t work out, I guess I can start hiring myself out as a helicopter pilot!” Bjarte jokes. “You’ll have an exclusive pilot contract with Concorde TV, Bjarte,” says Vegard. “Bård and I have lots of places to go these days! Your next step is learning to fly our plane so I don’t have to do the piloting all the time!” You don’t buy that for a second, just by the look on Vegard’s face you can tell he wishes he was at the controls right now.

Your flight comes to an end all too soon, and Bjarte brings the helicopter in for a perfect landing on the helipad. The guys both congratulate Bjarte and you let them all have a moment to finish up some paperwork, and you take a picture with your phone of them to commemorate the occasion. Bjarte gets out first and helps you out, bringing you into a spinning bear hug as you come down out of the copter, “Wasn’t that awesome, Mino? I really love flying!” 

You realize your foursome isn’t the only group of people on the rooftop. What you thought was a private moment is being captured by a photographer and videographer. A microphone is shoved in your face. “I’m Diana Johannes from Se og Hør. We heard Vegard was giving Bjarte a flying lesson today. How did it go, Bjarte?” Vegard comes over on the other side of his brother and the two of them do the talking with the reporter. 

“You know Mino from our show,” says Vegard to the reporter. “Yes, what do you think of Bjarte’s flying skills?” You feel yourself smiling and talking, but you are zoned out as Bjarte’s hand runs up and down your back as you speak. You can feel your face starting to flush and hope it doesn’t look too horrible on camera. You don’t need any flack from Sonja.

The reporter turns to Vegard with more questions, and you try to step away out of the camera shot, but Bjarte puts his arm around your waist and holds on tight. It occurs to you that the “My Big Fat Ylvis Wedding” ruse is officially on. You put a smile on your face and look as lovingly as you can at the two brothers. You think to yourself it would be much more interesting if you were able to marry Vegard, but that would REALLY be a scandal.


	7. Love Takes Flight -- or does it?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The press picks up on your "romance" earlier than expected.

You head early into the office. It is a taping day, so the only time Christian can meet with you is first thing in the morning. Usually the two of you are the only ones there this early. But as you head to your desk, you hear shouting coming from Vegard’s office. It doesn’t sound like good-natured shouting, either, from the oldest brother. 

“That wasn’t meant to be a press event! I did everything I could to keep it a secret, and the next thing I know the vultures are there, mixing up all the details. The worst thing is it looks like we set it up!” You hear other voices, but they are more hushed. You do hear Christian’s voice, “Bjarte and Mino handled it beautifully, so there’s no harm done, Vegard. The rest of the events are scheduled so we won’t have any more surprises.”

You get to your work station and see some outfits hung up for you, and a box of jewelry on your desk. Sonja sprints past you down the hall, heading for the bathroom. Did she come from Vegard’s office? It looks like she might be crying, but you’re not sure. “Stay out of it,” you think to yourself that you have enough to worry about.

And you do have enough to worry about. Part of your previous responsibilities managing the IKMY website involved monitoring the social media feeds. This is still the first thing that pops up on your computer when you open it. There’s a photo collage of you and Bjarte coming from the Se og Hør facebook page. The headline says “Love Takes Flight?” A few stock pics from your IKMY antics, but the centerpiece is you in the spinning hug just after your helicopter ride yesterday. Also a few shots from the interview, Bjarte’s arm tight around you and both of you smiling.

You don’t bother reading too much, but you notice the article implies Vegard gave Bjarte a flying lesson, even though you heard him tell the reporter that isn’t what happened. Vegard doesn’t even know how to fly a helicopter. But the photo captions are definitely suggesting you and Bjarte have a full-blown romance going. “This is happening fast,” you mutter to yourself. Nothing has even aired yet on the show. 

You and Bjarte are supposed to go on your fake dinner date tonight to a hot new restaurant in Oslo as part of a live report for the first show taping. The idea was to combine your photo opp date with a segment where you ask people if they know what they’re eating if it has fancy gourmet names. Since the press already thinks you’re a hot and heavy couple, that could make things interesting. The plan was to gradually introduce yourselves to the public.

“Good, you’re here, and you see what’s going on,” Christian appears at your desk. “Come with me to talk to Vegard for a minute. Did you see where Sonja went?” Christian’s walking with a purpose and you’re scrambling to keep up, “She ran down the hall to the bathroom. Are things that bad?” you wonder out loud. “Not bad, necessarily, just not in our control,” says Christain mysteriously.

You’re barely in Vegard’s door when he questions you, “Did you know that Sonja was calling the press yesterday about the helicopter flight?” Now it is starting to make sense! “No, not at all. I didn’t even know Bjarte was coming to get me until he showed up.” You explained how Sonja was at your house going through your closet when Bjarte came over and she answered the door. “That’s how she found out!” Vegard exclaims.

You can’t believe you’re defending Sonja, but you ask Vegard to give her the benefit of the doubt. “Are you sure Bjarte didn’t tweet about it or something beforehand? He’s always giving hints here and there.” You also think Sonja wouldn’t throw you into a situation cold. Everything else feels almost too rehearsed with her. “I don’t think she would take the risk.”

Christian explains, “Sonja’s denying it, but we’re pretty sure she tipped off the press.” Vegard is still pissed, “Yesterday was personal, definitely not part of our shooting schedule. You know we don’t invite the press into our personal lives. I don’t think this girl gets it.” You wonder if they will fire Sonja over this. 

You try to calm him down, but the words out of your mouth reveal your own angst, “It is definitely a fine line, Vegard. I wasn’t sure how things were going to go with this whole wedding bit, and now I’m concerned it has already gone too far. What will people think when they find out it is all a joke?” Now Christian tries to calm you down, “We’ve invested a lot of time and footage into this. We’ll find a way to make it work. When is Bjarte supposed to be here?”


	8. Identifying the Press Leak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to the bottom of the media mystery, and you don't have to look too far for answers.

Your phone buzzes with another text alert. Thirty-seven texts in the last hour from friends and family wanting to know about the news. Your parents and your real-life fiancé know what’s going down, but you didn’t expect that your friends from all over would pay attention to some Norwegian gossip rag. It is hard to negate the happy pictures plastered online, and Bjarte’s tweets about your helicopter adventure aren’t helping either.

You leave your phone on the desk and head to the ladies room for a moment’s peace. You forgot that was Sonja’s retreat a half hour ago and you’re surprised to find she’s still there, trying to fix up her makeup after an obvious crying jag, “Mino, you have to know I didn’t have anything to do with the press ambush yesterday! I swear I didn’t know they were coming! Why would Vegard and Christian accuse me of such a thing?”

“I don’t know what to think, Sonja.” You still don’t trust her. “All I know is this little joke has now blown up and it’s disrupting my personal life. I don’t like lying to my friends. If you really didn’t have anything to do with it we could sure use your help getting us out of it.” You hear Bjarte’s voice out in the hallway. He’s stopping by your coworkers’ desks, and it sounds like he’s bragging about the press coverage. 

“Do you think Bjarte tipped off the press?” you ask Sonja. She thinks for a minute, “You know how he’ll talk to anyone he meets when he’s out drinking or even online. He could have just told someone how excited he was about it and the information got to Diana. Reporters don’t just wait for a publicist to give them a tip. They also dig up information wherever they can.” You let out an exasperated sigh and head out the door.

You turn the corner to your desk and see Bjarte with your phone in his hand. “What are you doing, you little shit?” You see him hit the send button before he hands you the phone. “You sure did get a lot of texts this morning. I know you’re busy so I just thought I’d answer a few and send out a new Vine. Your new outfits are pretty! I can’t believe you haven’t told all your friends about me, min kjæreste!”

“Bjarte, the shit’s hitting the fan here,” you glare at him as you try to assess what kind of damage he just did. “You need to settle down. Did you invite the press to the helipad yesterday?” He grins proudly, “We got great coverage, didn’t we? And we didn’t even need Sonja to do it!” You grab him by his brightly colored scarf and drag him down the hall to Christian’s office. 

“Is this our first, lover’s quarrel, Mino?” he asks as he stumbles to keep up with you. “Shouldn’t we be filming this?” He pulls out his phone and hits the video record button. Vegard appears and grabs the phone out of Bjarte’s hand and drops it in the fish tank outside the break room. You can’t help but laugh…the whole situation is so absurd!   
“Enough with this already, Bjarte!” big brother shouts as you all assemble behind closed doors in Christian’s office. “Lots of people have wasted time this morning thanks to your shenanigans, and we almost fired Sonja for mishandling the press. You made a mockery of a special moment yesterday and you are jeopardizing the miniseries project.” Bjarte is still trying to be cool, but he has a lost puppy look about him as he slumps down in the couch to take Vegard’s scolding.

Bjarte starts to say something, but Vegard and Christian both give him a look that says “don’t even dare.” “Today is a taping day and we’ve got to get back on track,” Christian says to the group. He looks at you, “You and Bjarte are also supposed to do a live remote at the restaurant. Should we postpone that?” “I want to get Sonja in on this, but I think we can pull it off. You glare at Bjarte, “She and I should at least get a free fancy dinner out of this after what we’ve been through today!”


	9. Morning Commute

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bjarte makes amends...sort of.

Tuesday morning couldn’t have come sooner. You got through the Monday taping of both segments of I Kveld Med Ylvis, including the live remote at the restaurant in Oslo. The segment actually went over very well and your bit with the restaurant patrols turned out to be very funny. You and Bjarte are nothing like Calle, David, or Magnus, but the audience has warmed to your brand of humor. Sonja handled the press who’d assembled to get more pictures and sound bites from Norway’s newest sweethearts, you and Bjarte. 

After the dressing down Bjarte got from Christian and his brothers, he was on his best behavior, and was surprisingly charming the entire evening. Thanks to Sonja’s styling, you both looked amazing. You’d never seen Bjarte in a suit before and it was easier than you thought to fake some feelings for the cameras. You had a lovely meal in between your remote segments and Bjarte even took you for a turn on the dance floor.

Your next assignment is covering the opening of the new Raske Menn show in Bergen. You’ve not spent much time in the brothers’ home town and you are happy to get a few days to poke around. It should be a nice change of pace. You have one more day in the office before you head on your way. You just hope Bjarte will continue to be a changed man.

You’re about to head out to catch the bus when there’s a knock at the door, you open the door to a disheveled Bjarte, obviously hung over with a wrinkled t-shirt and jeans, and his hair a crazy mess. You’re always amused at the combination look Bjarte has…you can see elements of Vegard and Bård in him, but in so many ways he is definitely his own man. Well, man-child.

“What happened to my Prince Charming?” you laugh as he gingerly slinks into your kitchen and helps himself to a glass of water. “Don’t ask,” says Bjarte. “I didn’t feel like dealing with a crowded bus today so I drove. Thought you might want to ride with me.” You sit down at the kitchen counter, “Not a bad idea, Ylvisåker. Since we’re spending about 8 hours on the train tomorrow I wouldn’t mind avoiding public transportation today.”

His face perks up and he gives you those puppy dog eyes, “So am I forgiven for my transgressions, Mino?” You give him a look of death, “is that your idea of an apology? You overstepped so many boundaries, and I’m not even sure I’ve discovered everything you did yet. Are there any more surprises I should know about? Because I’ve never really liked surprises.”

His expressive eyebrows look like crooked caterpillars across his face, “What if they are good surprises?” You heave a sigh and push him out the door, “This is where I’m pretending to lay my affections.” You notice a photographer across the street snapping pictures as you head to the car. Bjarte gives him a wave, wraps his arm around you and gives you a peck on the cheek. You give a smile but mutter under your breath, “Remember, no more surprises, Bjarte!”


	10. A Little Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mino's day is full of surprises, whether she likes it or not.

When you arrive at the office, Bjarte runs around to your side of the car to open your door and help you out. He takes hold of your hand to lead you inside. “What’s with the sudden chivalry, lillebror?” You don’t pull your hand away, but his grasp still feels kind of foreign to you. “Come on, Mino, aren’t you enjoying yourself just a little bit? You have to admit last night was fun…wining, dining, dancing…laughing.” He gives you that puppy dog gaze again and wiggles his thick brows. You just laugh it off as he opens the building door for you and bows ceremoniously as you enter.

Tuesdays are always interesting because taping is done for the week and you’re already preparing for next week’s shows. Most of the crew and the band don’t come back until Thursday, so it is just the writers and producers arriving around noon to put in a few hours of brainstorming and planning. Magnus greets you in the lobby, cocking an eybrow when he notices you and Bjarte are holding hands, “The lovebirds made up I see? Well done, Bjarte, and she hasn’t even seen her present yet.”

“What present?” you head straight for your desk and find a beautiful bouquet of flowers. Bjarte runs to keep up with you. You open the card and almost burst into tears, “Don’t forget who REALLY loves you,” the inscription reads. “Are my brothers trying to suck up on my behalf? Sorry I didn’t have the idea myself,” Bjarte looks at bit dejected at your reaction to the flowers. It reminds you that you still haven’t told Bjarte about your real fiancé who’s out of sight but never out of mind, especially since he remembered to include your favorite rare bloom in the arrangement.

You gaze at the flowers and wish he could be with you right now, but Bjarte snaps you out of it, “those ARE from my brothers, right?” “They’re from a friend who cares about me, not for you to worry Mr. Ylvisåker!” Sonja arrives with a package for you. “Here are the tickets and itinerary for your trip. The Raske Menn dress rehearsal is Thursday night, the premier is Friday. When you get to Bergen you’ll need to finalize the taping schedule with Jorgen. Here is the schedule for some press interviews you'll do as well.

You look through the papers and ask, “Is there a hotel reservation?” Bjarte pulls you into a hug – “we’re all staying at Mamma and Pappa’s place, Mino. The whole family’s gonna be there for a big reunion weekend!” This is definitely news to you, “Is there enough room for everyone?” “We make it work,” Bjarte says. “You’re gonna love it!”


	11. At Home in Bergen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mino meets Mamma!

You aren’t sure how many more hugs you can take. The older Ylvisåker brothers are a decidedly non-huggy bunch, so you’re surprised how much Mamma Ylvis likes to get you in her embrace. That after spending the long day on the train with Bjarte, who is definitely a hugger, you just needed some down time, but you aren’t sure when that will come. 

“Mamma always wanted girls…she has a few with the granddaughters now but it isn’t quite the same.” Bjarte says as he leads you up the creaky stairs in the sprawling country house. “This is our room, Mino. Well, it is my room, but we’ll share it during our visit.” You back up and shake your head incredulously, “Oh, no. I didn’t sign up for this!” “Come on, Mino…the big bed can pull apart into two if you hate it that much. It’s just the house is full with the whole family so there’s no place else to go.”

Bjarte shows you around his childhood bedroom, full of Vegard’s old books from pilot school mixed with new books from helicopter school. Lots of toys are still on display from Bjarte’s video game passions. You feel like you’re getting a better picture of this not-yet-grown-up. “Do you revert back to a 12-year-old when you’re at home, Bjarte?”  
“Who said I ever progressed past 12, Mino? I didn’t need to! Mamma and my brothers take care of everything, and Pappa just laughs at all of it. I know he wants me to be more, but I’ll always be the baby in the family.” 

You see a newspaper clipping on the tackboard, from when Bjarte was actually 12 and hosted a kids TV show, right around the time his brothers were starting in show business.  
“Why didn’t you keep up with that when you were younger, Bjarte?” “I dunno, there weren’t a lot of opportunities once that show finished, and Vegard and Bård started touring so I wouldn’t see them for months at a time. I didn’t really get in with the theater school crowd. I had a different set of friends.” You’ve not seen him this serious before and sense that he’s drifting off into his own thoughts.

“Mino, Bjarte! The food is ready!” Mamma calls down from the kitchen. You are famished after the long trip and there’s still work to do to prepare for tomorrow’s taping. There will be lots of excitement around the Raske Menn show, and you’re happy to be there. You head downstairs and thank her for the hospitality.

“I’m just so glad to finally meet you, Mino. Bjarte can’t stop talking about you. I’ve had to watch you on TV to see you two together! I never thought he’d find a girl as sweet and talented as you. Your beautiful singing voice fits right in with this family you know!” She pulls you into another deep hug and you look over your shoulder, eyes wide, glaring at Bjarte. He shrugs sheepishly as you realize he’s pulling this romantic ruse even with his mother!


	12. Raske Menn Rehearsal (with a twist)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mino never dreamed she'd be part of the new Raske Menn show...even on dress rehearsal night.

You are laughing so hard your face hurts. Even though you work with comedians on a daily basis, it is a treat to be an audience member at someone else’s show. The Raske Menn are in top form, even in dress rehearsals, and the packed house is howling so loud you’re missing some of the lines. The trio has to stop mid-skit to give the audience a chance to settle down.

You and Bjarte have box seats in the theater, specials guests of your IKMY sidekick predecessor. You’d prefer to be in the front row, but it is interesting being able to catch a glimpse of some of the happenings backstage. You have a cameraman with you to film your planned bits around Bergen, but you notice there is another crew that seems to be filming a Raske Menn documentary. A “making of” show you assume.

As much as you’re delighted with the show, Bjarte’s been twitchy all night. He’s had some belly laughs for sure, but just doesn’t seem to be as into it, which is impossible to fathom, as far as you’re concerned. Even in rehearsal mode this is the best comedy show you think you’ve ever seen in person. When the intermission comes, Bjarte kisses you on the cheek and says, “I’ll be back.”

You follow him out into the lobby, but he’s already disappeared down the corridor. You’re surprised to see Magnus emerge from a box a few doors down from yours. “Hey, Mino! Are you enjoying the show?” He offers you some popcorn. “What are you doing here, Magnus?” He gives his usual deadpan stare…it always seems he needs a few extra seconds to process questions, but you know he’s smart as a whip.

“How could I miss this, Mino? Already 6 on the dice without a doubt!” He’s right about that, you think to yourself, but now you really sense something is up, “Magnus, did you see Bjarte come down the hall?” He looks puzzled, “he’s with you tonight?” “Of course he’s with me, we came to Bergen to film segments with Calle around the premiere, and we’re staying at his parents’ house.”

Magnus acts clueless with you, chatting a bit more until the lights flicker in the hall, signaling the end of intermission, and no Bjarte in sight. Magnus offers, “why don’t I come sit with you until Bjarte gets back?” You gladly accept…it isn’t much fun to sit watching a terrific show with no one to share in the laughter.

The house lights dim and a single spotlight hits the stage. You see the camera crew in action, taking their place at the foot of the stage. Calle’s familiar booming intro voice comes from behind the curtain. “Ladiiiies and Gentlemen, we interrupt our regularly scheduled rehearsal to bring out a very special guest. Please welcome Bjarte Ylvisåker and his barbershop quartet!

Bjarte and the three Raske Menn appear dressed in ridiculous suits: white shoes and pants, rainbow striped jackets and white boater hats. You feel Magnus looking at you for a reaction and you realize your camera crew has slipped in behind you. “Did you know about this, Magnus?” He giggles a bit and directs you to look back to the stage.

Bjarte finds a note on the pitch pipe and all four break out in perfect harmony…no words yet, but you recognize the old-time tune. The Raske Menn hum in the background and Bjarte speaks to the audience, “thank you for indulging me this evening. As you may know, I’ll never be a star like my brothers, but I have had fun the last few months working on their shows with a very special friend…” Your stomach is in knots as a spotlight finds its way to your seat. 

“She’s much more than a friend to me, and I’d like to take this occasion to show her how I truly feel. Mino, this song is dedicated to you.” 

Let me call you "Sweetheart," I'm in love with you.  
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too.  
Keep the love-light glowing in your eyes so true.  
Let me call you "Sweetheart," I'm in love with you.

“Let’s all sing along!” The words to the song appear on the jumbo screen and each of the quartet takes a piece of the stage to lead their section of the audience in the song. The spotlight is still hot on you and the camera is capturing your reaction. You know this is the big moment and you have to play off how you are SUPPOSED to feel. At least they did this so you’ll act surprised. But you have to remember to accept what he’s about to ask…

Let me call you "Sweetheart," I'm in love with you.  
Let me hear you whisper that you love me too.  
Keep the love-light glowing in your eyes so true.  
MINO, Let me call you "Sweetheart," CAN I MARRY YOU?

Bjarte is down on one knee and the trio raises their arms up to you in a pleading stance. You feel yourself smiling and nodding, laughing at the ridiculousness of all of it. You’re also impressed that Bjarte was able to pull this off without you having any idea. You knew a proposal had to happen to carry through the charade, but you never thought about it being live and in public.

Magnus has a microphone, and asks “what do you say, Mino?” You know you are a deep shade of red, and you respond “How could I say no to that?” The theater erupts in cheers. Bjarte does a fist pump and jumps up and down with glee. Magnus grabs your hand, raising it triumphantly like a prize fighter. You feel like you’ve just reached the peak of the tallest roller coaster around and the drop is about to begin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More updates soon! This story is reaching a conclusion!


	13. One of the Guys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mino is treated like part of Bjarte's family while in Bergen.

You awaken to the smell of sausages cooking and the sounds of kids giggling and yelling. You’ve forgotten where you are for a moment, until you hear what sounds like a stampede approach your bedroom and the door flies open. Bjarte and you can’t even count how many nieces, nephews and cousins are with him and now they’re all jumping on the bed around you. “Minoooo, it is time to get your lazy ass out of bed!” You take one grumpy look at the scene and bury your head under the covers.

“Ohhhhh, Aunt Mino’s not quite ready for you all yet. Scram for now and we’ll be down later,” Bjarte instructs the screeching mass of kids out of the room. You hear them all retreat and lift the blanket from your head, “where did they all come from? They don’t all belong to your brothers, do they?” “Nei, Mino! This is the annual girls’ weekend for our family. The wives and their sisters hang out in Oslo and all the kids and husbands come to Bergen. Mamma likes to have all her boys around. This weekend, you are one of the guys!”

You look at the clock, 9:00 a.m. You see the obnoxious “engagement” ring on your finger, and recall Bjarte’s creative proposal at last night’s Raske Menn rehearsal. “You’ve really outdone yourself in the surprise department, ESPECIALLY SINCE I SAID NO MORE SURPRISES, BJARTE!” Bjarte just laughs at you, doing a dramatic belly flop on the bed, crazy hair flying, taking your hand and kissing the ring as he continues to bounce.  
“Well, here’s a surprise for you. I, Bjarte Ylvisåker, have actually made some work-related arrangements for today! Calle and the boys are coming over at 12:00 and after lunch we’re going to the theater with them to tape that segment we didn’t get to tape yesterday. I’m motivated, because after that, we can party all night and recover on the train ride back tomorrow!” You are slightly impressed. You’re not sure if he’s ever done anything except show up when it is time to film.

You hear a loud bell ringing and lots of movement through the creaky but welcoming house. “That’s Pappa’s way of saying breakfast is ready. We’d better get down there because with all these mouths to feed there won’t be a scrap left over if we’re late!” You aren’t quite sure how to take being treated like part of the family. This is still just a bit for a TV show, right? “Can you make me a plate and I’ll be down in a few minutes? I could really use a shower.” Bjarte gives you a bow and an “as you command, kjæresten min” and heads out the door.

You gather your robe and overnight bag and head down the hall. Vegard opens the door to his room just as you walk by. “Mino!” he calls to you in a hushed voice. “Come in here for a minute!” This is a moment you NEVER would have dreamed of even a year before, when you were just a fan of Ylvis, mocking up art school projects dedicated to your favorite comedians. He pulls you in the room and shuts the door behind you and your heart starts to race. “Do you mind telling me what is going on?” Vegard demands.

“I think I should ask the same thing!” you’re trying to keep your voice down, but now you’re agitated. “I thought Bjarte and I were coming to Bergen for work projects, and as it turns out this was dramatic proposal weekend and your mom is welcoming me into the family!” Vegard looks at the ceiling, trying to take deep breaths, “Why are you sleeping in there with him?” “Vegard, he didn’t give me a choice, Bjarte said the house was full of other guests. I even asked Sonja about a hotel before we left and she said we were all staying here. Nothing is going on, though, I swear!”

Bård opens the door and enters quietly, “why does Mamma think Bjarte and Mino are REALLY engaged?” He looks at you in your pajamas, “and why are you two sleeping together? Are you really an item?” You and Vegard both say, “NO!” Vegard glares at him, “this whole thing was your idea and it is getting way out of hand.”

You can’t believe you’re the voice of reason in the situation, “listen guys, there are only a few more weeks to the UNICEF show. All the lead-up segments are taped and they debut next week. Bjarte and I will sit down with your mom and dad before dinner tonight. It would be nice if you could be there too,” you stare straight at Bård. “I had no idea he was going to propose in public last night…it was such a spectacle I’ve been afraid to look at the media. It should help the ratings, that’s for sure!” 

Bård and Vegard look at each other, smile, and get down on their knees in front of you, repeatedly bowing at your feet, kissing your slippers, “you’re the best, Mino. I’m not sure how we’re going to make it up to you, but we will.” “I think you’re gonna send me on a long vacation with my real fiancé, for starters,” you reply as you head out the door to get your shower.


	14. The Truth Comes Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few truths are revealed in a heated discussion.

The disappointment in Mamma Ylvisåker’s face is evident as you and Vegard sit at the dining table and calmly explain to her the engagement is an elaborate prank for the older brothers' talk show. Pappa laughs and shakes his head. His cell phone rings and he takes this perfect opportunity to escape the situation. Bjarte and Bård hang back sheepishly in the kitchen, peeking through the door--you knew they would chicken out when it was time to break the news. And although she was sad, Mamma took it in stride. “Well, I thought I’d seen it all from you boys, but you’ve outdone yourselves this time, Vegard.” 

Vegard objected, glaring at his little brothers “Nei Nei Nei, Mamma, this was Bård’s hairbrained scheme!” Mamma didn’t care whose fault it was, and she comes to put her arms around you again, “But to bring this poor girl into your pranks—this must be horrible for you, Mino! And you are such a nice, talented girl. It was too good to be true that I could have three wonderful daughters-in-law in such a short time.” You blush as you reluctantly accept her embrace.

Vegard chimes in, “Mino is fine…she is already engaged to a nice young man and will be married soon enough. And he is cool with what is happening…” You gasp as Vegard spills the beans and look to Bjarte for a reaction. You can see him stiffen in shock, but he doesn’t say anything. “What did I say?” asks Vegard. 

You whisper to Vegard, although you don’t know why because everyone can hear, “I never told Bjarte.” Everyone turns to look at baby brother and he shrugs his shoulders, “Oh, I know all about Mino’s REAL fiancé. Mino and I are just co-workers. This has all been a big joke, Mamma, and everything is just fine! Now, we have some taping to take care of with Calle so we need to go.” Bjarte bounds out of the house as fast as he can. Vegard heaves a giant sigh, rolling his eyes to the ceiling. 

Bård tries to defuse the situation, “See, everything is fine. Who’s up for a round of indoor golf?”

You run outside to follow after Bjarte, who is already sitting in Pappa’s SUV that you’ve borrowed for the afternoon. Is he crying? Some of the kids are playing in the yard and they run over to pull you into their game, but you shoo them away. It crosses your mind that there’s no need to keep the kind aunt ruse going at this point.

You approach the car as conspicuously as you can, allowing him time to recover, and open the passenger door. You get in and take a seat, but feel like the distance between you is an ocean away. “Bjarte, I’m sorry I never told you about my relationship.” He looks at you and you can see his eyes are red and puffy.

“Why would you want to tell me, Mino? We only spend every day together and have traveled the country doing all kinds of fun and romantic things. We aren’t really that close at all…just co-workers,” Bjarte sniffles. “If anything it proves you are as good an actress as you are an artist and singer.” Your heart is sinking for him.

Bjarte shocks both of you when he slams his fists onto the steering wheel, setting off the horn and shouting, “I thought you at least liked me! In love with me? Nei, I knew that was crazy this early, but I at least thought we were very good friends.” You reach for his hand, but he pulls it away. “And good friends should know if the other friend is engaged, don’t you think?”

“Please forgive me, Bjarte,” you grab his hand this time, not letting go, and he turns to look you in the eye. It kills you to see how hard this is for him. “Everything happened so fast and I’ve been with my guy for eight years. There was never a good time to tell you once all this stuff got out of control.” Your cell phone beeps…it is your camera man texting you: “For once Calle’s on time and you two aren’t here. Hurry up!" You read the text to Bjarte and he chuckles, so at least you know his sense of humor isn’t all lost.

“I guess iiiiiitttt’s SHOWTIME!" Bjarte sarcastically proclaims. He pulls his hand from yours, wipes his eyes and blows his nose. “Not a word about this to anyone, Mino. Comprende?” You nod with a heavy heart, “that’s the least I could do for you, Bjarte.”


	15. #Bjino

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the Bergen meltdown.

Looking out the window of the plane over the night sky of Bergen, you finally have some solitary time to think. The Raske Menn taping was tense but since the focus was on them and not you and Bjarte, it came off fine for the cameras. The comedy trio was better informed than Mamma Ylvisåker about your true engagement status, although they didn’t know about the recent drama at home. Calle could sense something was up, but you figured Bård or Vegard would fill him in later when they had time. Once you were finished filming, Bjarte suggested flying back to Oslo that night instead of taking the train the next day, and as much as you wanted some free time in Bergen you agreed. Neither of you really wanted to spend another night together in his boyhood bedroom.

Thankfully, you didn’t even have to sit together on the plane. You are sure you can salvage your working friendship with Bjarte, but you know he’ll probably never really trust you again. How could you keep such a huge part of your life a secret from him? Other than a designer job at Concorde TV, you didn’t really ask for any of this, it all just happened.

“But the last few months have been amazing,” you think to yourself. You’ve worked on a concert tour, TV episodes, music video shoots, and you just saw the Raske Menn debut (“was that really just yesterday?”). And this craziness with Bjarte has taken you in a helicopter over Oslo, to film premieres and fancy restaurants, and you’ve been able to sing in the street and even make people laugh on purpose! But has it been worth the stress? You’re not sure.

The plane lands and your phone lights up with text messages as soon as you turn it on, and you have a call right now…from Bjarte, in the back of the plane! “Uh, hallo?” “Mino, we’d better turn on the charm for the photographers in the airport. We did just get engaged, right? Wait for me when you get off the plane, ok?” Now you remember whose brother he is…on with the show!

As you’re waiting, you look at your texts. Your mom, your dad, your best friend from home, Christian L. Uh oh, what does he want? “I heard you and Bjarte are back early. Meet me in the office tomorrow at 10, and clear your calendar for the rest of the week.”  
“Helvete! What does he want now?” Bjarte grumbles into your ear – you didn’t realize he was looking over your shoulder at the message. You pull the phone away from his view and stuff it in your pocket. Suddenly you realize a group of teenage girls are nearby giggling and pointing at you. 

Bjarte sees them and brightens up – “Hei girls! How are you?” The bold one of the group steps forward to you, “Can we see your ring, Mino?” Your ring – you totally forgot about it—there must have been stuff in the press already after the performance last night. The emotional roller coaster is ascending another hill. 

You pose your hand in front of the starry-eyed girls as they all gather round. A few are more interested in Bjarte, who is in A+ flirt mode, but most are dazzled by the big rock and look at you in admiration. They all want selfies, and Bjarte happily obliges, forcing you to go along with it.

Once the ice is broken, they are full of questions.  
“You have such a pretty voice, Mino. I hope they let you sing more on the show. Will you play in the next Ylvis concert with Bjarte?”   
“Mino – I voted for the lacy dress for your wedding. Which dress do you like best?”  
“How many kids are you going to have? Do you want boys or girls?”

Oh, Lord, what is going on? You try to turn the conversation away from you, asking them why they were at the airport, where they go to school. 

Bjarte has done this more (or at least been around his brothers to see them in action) and starts walking toward baggage claim, leading you away from the pack. “Thanks for watching I Kveld Med Ylvis, girls! Nice to meet you! Donate to UNICEF if you can. Ha det!”

“Do you really want to be a celebrity, Bjarte? I don’t think I can handle it.” You whisper to Bjarte.

“The good news, Mino, is it doesn’t last for long!” Bjarte smiles as he drags you down the hall, and you are happy to have your friend back.


	16. Something Bigger than Ourselves

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The UNICEF adventure takes the faux couple to Africa!

What a week it has been, and now you’re on the biggest adventure you never dreamed of having. On Thursday you were in Bergen being serenaded by the Raske Menn for your phony engagement to Bjarte. Three days later you are on a plane to Africa of all places with Bjarte and videographer Pål to visit UNICEF sites and film segments for the final season episode of IKMY. You were excited and scared at the same time.

Pål has been many times before, and you admire his dedication to sharing the realities of war and poverty with the rest of the world. This trip you are on a Norwegian Airlines flight packed as full as it can be with medicine and supplies. You learn that UNICEF helps countries combat disease and gets basic necessities to kids in war-torn and disaster-stricken parts of the world.

You and Bjarte are scheduled to visit families in a refugee camp to do some personal profiles. You also brought your guitar so you and Bjarte can perform some music for the kids. A good reminder of the reason behind the madness of the last few months. One person who keeps reminding you to enjoy your wild ride is “Mr. Mino,” your affectionate name for the real man in your life. When you told him what happened in Bergen, he actually felt sorry for Bjarte and tried to see things from the lillebror's point of view. How he can keep you grounded through all this with regular texts and Skype conversations is a mystery to you, but it is why you love him so.

The seating is strange on the modified cargo plane. It used to be a big passenger jet, but now it just has a small cluster of seats nestled in the midst of tightly packed boxes. You are facing Bjarte—way more eye contact opportunity than you’d prefer right now, and you still haven’t quite gotten your friendship back the way it was before he found out you were engaged to another. You doze off for a while, not really tired but trying to avoid awkward conversation. When you wake up you see Bjarte is staring right at you, the usual excited sparkle missing from his eyes.

“So what’s he like, Mino? How did you meet him?” Bjarte leans forward into your personal space so you can converse over the sound of the jet engines. You know there is no escape.

“We have some mutual friends but met online about eight years ago. Because we live in different countries we don’t see each other in person very much, but when we do we know it is the real thing. I was afraid at first that if we weren’t separated by miles it would be too weird when we are together, but it is just the opposite. We just get each other, you know?”

“No, I don’t know,” Bjarte sighs. “I’ve never had anyone like that who likes me for who I am and wants to make the effort to see it through. My brothers found their soulmates so early, and they are way more socially awkward than I am!” This makes you laugh and at first Bjarte looks offended, but then a smile takes over and he shakes his head, “I know I am young, but you are the same age as me and you know who you are spending your life with. I don’t even know what I’m doing next week!”

You grasp his hands in yours and try to reassure him, “Well, next week you are pretending to marry me on national TV, then we can reveal the charade and you can get your life back to normal and find Miss Right. And not on a reality show, but in REAL life.”

Bjarte gets that scheming look and you can see the wheels turning inside his head, “Wait a minute, you might be onto something…a new show…I could be Norway’s Most Eligible Bachelor…I could hold auditions for my next kjæreste! You’re a genius, Mino!”

“Don’t blame me for this! Your brothers have created a monster!” From the look on his face you are afraid he is serious, and you’re afraid the entertainment value of it all may be too hard for Concorde TV to resist actually going through with it.

Pål emerges from the cockpit where he’s been chatting with the pilot, and he brings you both down to earth as the plane begins to descend, “Since you’ve not done anything like this before, there’s really no way to prepare you for what you will see, but I can try to give you some tips. The kids will be very curious about you, so don’t be alarmed when they crowd around. You are going to hear some tough stories and see some horrific things, but smile as much as you can. Don’t be afraid to clown around and have fun. But if people want to talk and tell you their stories, stop to really listen. You can’t fix their problems, but you can listen and we are going to share those stories with people back home. You are already good about pretending the camera isn’t there, so that will help too.”

As you are both earnestly taking in Pål’s advice, you look at Bjarte and see a different demeanor in him. He actually looks like a grown-up embarking on important work. The plane takes a dip and your stomach flips for a moment and you all strap yourselves in for the landing. Bjarte takes the seat beside you so you can both look out the window, and out of the corner of your eye you see Pål pick up his video camera. Instinctively, you and Bjarte put on your couple persona. He reaches for your hand and pulls you closer, kissing your cheek and shouting, “I’m glad we’re doing this together, Mino! I wouldn’t want to be here without you!” Even though the camera is rolling you know he is sincere. And you feel the same way—what a ride! You smile and rest your head on his shoulder as you watch the next country in your adventure get closer in the window.


	17. Packing Up

It doesn’t happen often, but you are the first to arrive to the Concorde offices, and a twinge of sadness hits as you realize it may be the last time you enter the building that is so full of creativity, where laughter is a serious business. You take a deep breath of the frigid morning air, holding it in as you open the door. Rather than turning on the bright office lights as you go down the hall, you use your phone as a torch to light the way.

When you reach your desk you see the costumes hanging up, ready for the show that is just hours away. At least the fans were kind, voting for the dress you thought was the least hideous choice. “When I really get married, I am definitely eloping. No one should go through all this bullshit for real,” you think as you caress the white, lacy fabric with the back of your hand, pushing the costume cart out of the way. The obnoxious orange tuxedos for the groomsmen are hanging there as well, bringing a smile to your face, “At least I won’t look like the biggest fool on tv tonight.”

You find a few boxes in the copy room and begin to empty your desk. What a blur the last year has been, and you’re not sure your life will ever contain as much drama and excitement as it has when working with these crazy Norwegians. But your experience in Africa affected you more profoundly than you ever expected, giving you an epiphany that life is too short, too precious to not spend every moment possible with the man you love.

“Mino? Is that you?” You see Vegard’s form in the shadows, his compact, solid frame topped by that irresistible mound of uncontrollable curls. You gasp not only at being discovered, but just at the sight of him. Will you EVER stop fangirling? How could you ever think of leaving when you have access to a vision like this?

“Mino!” Vegard approaches you swiftly as you fall into your chair, rolling clumsily across the floor into the wall, scattering the box you just packed.

You hope in the dim light of your desk lamp he can’t see you blush, “Vegard! I thought I was the only one here. You startled me.”

He pulls another chair over to sit by you, righting the box you dropped. “Mino, are you leaving? You can’t sneak away from us now. After all this we can’t have a runaway bride!” You laugh at the thought of the prospect—why hadn’t that occurred to you before?

“Not to worry, Vegard. But I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you. When the show is finished tonight I’m leaving. I need to be with my real kjæresten. He’s been very patient through all of this, and it is time for us to truly be together.”

“Mino, we all leave after tonight—it is the end of the season. We will all get a nice extended vacation, and we’ll be back in three months for the next big thing. We even have some possibilities in the USA…”

“No, Vegard. I mean I am leaving for good. This has been an amazing experience, and I will never forget everything you’ve done for me. But I need to get back home and make every second count with my own family. I just want to get through tonight. And, please, Vegard…no dramatic goodbyes. Let me break the news to others in my own way.”

The light coming in through the window highlights the concerned frown on Vegard’s stubbled face. He rises from his chair and grasps your hands to pull you up from your seat. His eyes are glistening a bit—are these tears or is it just sleepy morning eyes? “Well, I do owe you that, Mino. I’m sorry for everything we’ve put you through. Hopefully you’ve had SOME fun with all this?”

“The wildest ride ever, Vegard. And yes, it has been fun!” He pulls you into a warm hug, and you get flustered again, breathing in the sweet, slightly sweaty scent of his hair. Then you notice he’s only in a t-shirt and boxers. 

“Uhhhh, Vegard. Why are you here so early, anyway? And where are your pants?” He jumps back, realizing his lack of clothing. Running down the hall back into his office, he shouts, “Ai ai ai! I’m sorry, Mino! I was editing audio last night and spilled Pepsi all over my jeans. I forgot I took them off before I went to sleep for a while.”

“Another good reason to keep this entire exchange just between us, boss!” You laugh and get back to packing.


End file.
